As I sit here alone on this mother's day evening, I am reflecting on my journey as a mother. Maybe it is because I am approaching my 40th birthday so quickly, maybe it is because my oldest is in the process of 'leaving the nest', could be because my parents are aging and this year has brought them health and life challenges that cause me to grieve I am not nearby to cherish daily interaction with them... Whatever the reason, this seems to be a time of reflection in my life.
All around me I see women in different stages of motherhood. I see my sweet niece, Elizabeth, as she prepares to welcome her first child into her arms. I watch as she subconsciously holds her belly as she talks to me without even realizing she is cradling her little one already in her spirit.
I see the struggles of young moms in our church, as they try to work out ways to stay home with their little ones when the world that we live in makes this such a financial strain for young families. I know and remember the cry of the mother heart and the passion for making the house into a home.. a place of protection and love for the young hearts they have been trusted with.
I see those like me, moms of teenagers and young adults. I hurt because the world my children are venturing out into is not a safe one. I long to create a future for them free of struggles of identity and destiny. Is there a bubble somewhere that I can place them in? I said to my husband the other day, "I feel like my heart is broken and I don't think it will ever be whole again."
The heart of a mother... Who can understand it?
Only He who created it. I was reminded of that this week. As I wept before the Lord, I heard him speak to my heart.
"Daughter, the pain you feel is nothing compared to the pain I feel as your Father. For as much as you love your children, my love for you is even more. The pain you are feeling is a small taste of the pain I have felt when you have turned your own way and walked away from me. The love you have for your children I understand; for I love them even more because they are also my children."
Sisters, that is the truth in this life. They are only our children for a short time, entrusted to us by their true Father, who loves them even more than we do. When the things that they face in life are not longer 'boo boos that we can fix", we have to entrust them to the One who will always be with them. That is the only way we can have peace.
Happy Mother's Day!