Do you ever find yourself struggling to love? I am not a very outgoing person sometimes. Learning about our weaknesses helps us learn to overcome them. One of my big ones is that I withdraw when I think people are unhappy with me or if I KNOW they are talking about me.
I am sure it has to do with trying to protect myself, but the point is I know it is something I deal with. For me, forgiveness and working through something starts deep within me. I have to acknowledge what I am upset about and work through those feelings inwardly. Outwardly, I usually wait until the opportunity to be myself and show I have no ill feelings to come naturally instead of 'creating' the opportunity.
I recently found out that sometimes that is taken as holding on to bad feelings. Well duh, you may be thinking... I honestly was shocked to discover that! I had no idea. I KNOW I have no bad feelings about situations and have gotten over the conflict but it wasn't coming through to the other person.
Good lesson for me to learn! So now I am struggling not just to love but to SHOW that love to others quicker than I instinctively would. Yes, it is hard to live in a 'fishbowl' as a pastor's wife and to have everything you say and don't say judged but I am learning.. Most of all I am learning God is still stretching me!