I have been in a real funk this week! My mom has been really sick. She was diagnosed with COPD a few months ago. This really stinks,especially because she has never smoked yet has the lungs of a lifetime smoker. She did grow up in a home of smokers and remembers being in the car as a child and not being able to breathe because both of the adults in the car were smoking and the windows were rolled up.
I have spent the last 2 weekends driving back and forth to Tennessee to be with her in the hospital. I worry about her health and it brings back too many memories about my frequent trips last year when my sister was dying. So I have been tired and experiencing a deep sorrow.
In the middle of all of this, I am trying to live my life as a wife, mother, fulltime employee and pastor's spouse. There are so many blessings around me and I am consciously reminding myself of how blessed I am. I also have to remember that I can't take my emotions out on those around me that love me and need me.
Proverbs 14:1 is a great verse to remind me of my responsibility to build my house! This is something that happens every day, not only when I want it to. They are the daily choices I make that decide whether I am building or tearing down those around me.
I have never been more conscious of the time passing quickly. My Nate will be a senior this year and moving out into the world. My prayer is that he sees my faith and perseverance even in these difficult times and they are building blocks for him in pursuing all he can be in Christ. Drew will follow him in just a few years. What a joy and a challenge to be their mother and the builder of the atmosphere of their home!